To Where I had been before

A line, penciled down,
between sea and sky,
stillness my heart resists
to move, each beat
a kind of sadness,
lulling like a broken
record, wilted and displaced,
I swim like a water snake
against current,
and in your eyes,
I become a minute
dot your heart canot
see, aged and pale,
growing distance and gaunt,
your ability to love subsides,
and your inner loneliness
a curtain over the sun,
and what you're worth
weans away like autumn's leaves
rotting to the ground.

I found myself again,
after all the searches,
my fingers have finally felt
someone real,
his lungs against mine,
and all his proportions,
head and legs,
all measured up to my own,
and not an inch less
did I become to him,
and even better, I become
a great stature of love and respect
that you have lacked.

Goodbye
indifferent heart
I am leaving your sea
to the mountain
and valley of my birth
where courage and bravery
are the swords of my existence.

I am going to stand up
and look on down,
as far as I can see,
past your judgment,
past your hate,
past your indifference,
past the obstacles your heart can't never overcome,
past the dark, self-serving kindness
you display,
and beyond these green pastures
you had painted
with trickeries and lies.

I am going to liberation,
to liberty's flag waving white in the sky,
to self-love and rosy infatuation with
someone I care about,
back to the inner peace I once had,
and the dignity of my life I had carved
away on stone.

Goodbye, selfish man
Free, I am to a road I once travelled,
free, I am to life I once knew,
free, I am to the joy of my morning's rise,
free, I am to the one whose arms desire me,
free, I am to an existence worthy of the gods,
free, I am tp the flower of justice,
free, I am to the nature of love,
free, I am to the forbidding paradise I can roam
without you sitting in judgment.